"So, how was your birthday?" by PQHAÜS

"So, how was your birthday?" by PQHAÜS

(Acrylic on canvas / 11x14 inches / 2023)

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“So, how was your birthday?” they asked me. I paused briefly before saying it was good, but in that moment of hesitation, I knew my lie was too obvious. The truth is, I’ve actually started to enjoy spending my birthday alone. There’s no pressure to please anyone but myself. And as each year passes, I realize birthdays don’t feel as significant as they once did. It’s just another day, often used as an excuse to feel special, but I haven’t felt that way in so long that it doesn’t even seem necessary anymore. 

I’m not particularly excited about the birthdays still to come, but I’m content knowing I’ve finally come to terms with being comfortable on my own, even on my birthday. I guess this is the part of adulthood they were talking about all along.

“So how was your birthday?” they asked me. I took a brief pause before telling them it was food, and in that moment of hesitation, I realized my lie was way too obvious. But, the truth is, I’ve actually started to enjoy spending my birthday alone. Not having to please anyone but myself, and more importantly, as I get older every year, I realize birthdays aren’t as significant as they used to be. It just feels like a perfect day to use as an excuse to make oneself feel special, but I haven’t felt that way in for too long that it doesn’t even feel necessary anymore. 

I’m not enthusiastic about the birthdays that still lie ahead, but I’m content with the fact that I’ve finally come to terms with being comfortable on my own, even on my birthday. I guess this is the part of adulthood they were talking about this whole time. the dark phases of life, we wouldn’t fully appreciate the meaning of happiness.