"Nosedive" by PQHAÜS
(Acrylic on canvas / 16x20 inches / 2024
During my teenage years, in the midst of my struggle with depression, my counselor suggested physical exercise as a means to combat my overwhelming thoughts. I chose swimming, specifically nosediving. Whenever I felt my mind on the verge of unraveling with uncontrollable thoughts, I would instinctively nosedive into the pool, temporarily escaping the harsh reality of my life. The immediate euphoria of submerging myself, leaving everything above the water, created a profound sense of comfort and security. Since then, this unconventional nosedive has become my non-destructive means of rescuing myself from the grip of sadness. Emerging from the pool, I felt rejuvenated, as if I had been reborn into a new existence.
This painting serves as a depiction of my nose diving experience. While some may use the term "nosedive" as a metaphor for a rapid decline in a short period, for me, it was a swift, sweet escape from the world, -a necessary break. It became a method of detaching myself from the world temporarily to ultimately reattach with it. In terms of symbolism within the artwork, the figure is depicted holding an empty silhouette, representing his alter ego left behind in the swimming pool. This void figure signifies the younger version of himself who used to suffer but is now left behind as he no longer resorts to nosediving to escape life's challenges. The painting suggests personal growth, happiness, and health, while acknowledging the memory of past struggles.
As for the chair, the one in the foreground is connected to the one in the background, visually illustrating the ongoing relationship between the older version of himself and the challenging times he experienced in the past as a kid. It highlights how every time-period version of ourselves, whether they were happy or not, still remains within us. And for this reason, the title is "I nosedive to get closer to you." It insinuates the grown man wanting to get closer to his inner child.
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